Today, my reality became clear. I'd been holding onto a man who clearly had decided to move on. I started thinking about my last post and how that was preventing me from living. I can't live in the past unless my past somehow becomes my present again... And I don't know. Maybe some day it will... but if it doesn't, I can't sit like I did this past weekend. My heart was truly bleeding. I supposed neither of us quite realized how I felt for him, but that doesn't change the reality that it WAS felt.
I haven't had that feeling in 3 years. More than 3 years. And I'm thankful for the love given to me and I'm grateful that he trusted me to love him in return. I still do, but it's time to turn that romantic love into filios. Still a man I'd walk to the ends of the earth for, but someone else out there is looking for me and my heart is searching for him... and hopefully one day soon they'll join and spark... AND THEN... ignite.
It will happen.
Reality bites. But, love is a risk.
So for now, I have to walk away. I love you and I send good thoughts your way every time I think of you.
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