So I was driving the girls home tonight from Chuck E Cheese after dropping Polina off to the airport. She's London bound. And I know their terror. I know their tears. I remember the first business trip my mom went on and how I thought I was never going to see her again. They were fine until I started playing the CDs she had in the truck. They're uniquely hers and the girls recognize them as such. "Ambuw - pwess 5 like momma does." Momma. *tears.....
It's hard to rationalize with a 3 year old.
Really trying to make wise financial decisions right now. It's getting harder considering my invite to a South African suare in Tampa next weekend... and the flight is only $180. I needs to get my mind off things and this would do the trick. At least for a couple of days. I should save my cash. There are SO many directions I want to go with this blog - but I'm not... I'm not going to do it. I have 36 minutes left to cry... to obsess... and then - I'm moving on. I have NO clue what step one will be. Probably just watch the clock tick the pain away. Damn - those are good lyrics. Excellent even.
Nat's gonna teach me guitar while I'm in Freeport. So excited - my grandpa used to try to teach me... my I'm a bit of a pansy. My finger tips just couldn't hack it. I'm gonna do it though. I'm going to learn. I'm going to make myself better. I couldn't be better for him... not in his time. But then - that's just bad timing.
So - I lied. That last post wasn't my last post about him, but I'm feeling a little more level headed about the whole thing now. He has his person for right now - and maybe longer - I have no control. If it's meant to be - it'll be. So while I make no promises about blogs of men - this will be my last boo hoo I wasn't good enough blog about him. Holy fuck. I feel like I'm the dude from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Meh - it's all good.
Good night. Good day. Good life. Toodles.
No comments:
Post a Comment