Let it be what it is.

Friends call on me... every day. Sometimes twice. They ask for an update. I give it. My latest update was one they expected to hear with tears behind it. But they were met with less than their expectation. Why? Because the truth is I wanted to have control over who loved who... and I don't. I don't control the energy that flows. I don't control that glance she gave him to let him know "I dig you." And I don't control the mind in him that let that glance take him to a place called confusion and indifference.

I don't control.

So, today - I let it be what it is. And tomorrow, maybe it will be something different and maybe it will be more of the same. Maybe it will be an escalated version of the same or perhaps a deflated version of different...

So, today - I let it be what it is. And tomorrow I let it be what it is. Until it's something that it's not anymore... if that ever happens. And if that happens, then I can let it be what it will be OR it can be a different version of what is. Perhaps a happier version in my world... or... perhaps I could be the one that finds true happiness out of all this in a form, in a shape, in a color, in a different vividness that I never imagined existed.

I don't speculate. I just live. Now. This minute. This second. I let it be what it is.