Well, I hate to piss on everyone's parade - but once you take the red pill, you can't go back. They say knowledge is power and the proverbial body of "they" are right. However, I'm still sitting here in my bed, weeks later, shaking my head to see if this power is one I truly wanted. The biggest part of me is glad to have the knowledge and capacity to understand that which 90% of the world does not.... the other 10% just wanted to be able to wake up this morning, completely oblivious to all the BS that society really wants us to believe. I wanted to wake up this morning and be able smile as I got ready for church... for really no other reason than to make my daddy proud... but I can't anymore. For SO long, I have lived a lie that is not me. For what purpose did I live that lie? To make others falsely proud of me. To live up to the image that friends and family had painted in their minds...And it is with this knowledge - this new found image of me - that I am pouring myself into a new book. I have attempted writing this book for literally years now. However, I get to a few pages and run out of things to say. This time - my fingers won't stop walking. My mind won't stop reeling.
I had to call my good friend P to ask her how the heck her ADHD husband ever finishes a book with his ADHD mind. My new creation is turning more into a disaster than my hoped for masterpiece. However, she gave me a good tip which I am utilizing this weekend. Wish me luck. Send good vibes my way...
Much love :)
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